GMA looking for a speech writer

I’m serious, he badly needs one. This is tonight’s speech. It just doesn’t make sense. I’ve got nothing against the man, he might have done something great in his life. But as a political journalist, who’s seen some political marketing in her life, I definetly advise him to get better PR people.
There it goes, as taken from Naharnet:

5:02pm FPM leader MP Michel Aoun after the movement’s weekly meeting: The debates in the media are talking about me without my knowledge.
Comment: People gossip about you, a public figure making political decisions, in the media without your knowledge? But that’s a good thing. It means you are actually a politician!

5:06pm MP Aoun: When we spoke of a blocking minority, we were granted less than half and even less than two thirds of the ministers.
Comment: Bad, bad translation.

5:06pm MP Aoun: The rights will be restored to those who support the government.
Comment: Sooo, if you don’t support the government buh-bye rights? That might be true, but its’ a dumb thing to say in a speech, isn’t it?

5:09pm MP Aoun: Representation in government is based on proportionality. What do they mean when they speak of spite? Does that mean ignoring previous crimes? I was tried even though there were was no case against me and now I have files against others.
Comment: Ummmm, spite? They governed to get vengeance? And now you’ve got files against others? Wanna take this outside? Cause it defies logic.

5:09pm MP Aoun: Spite was exercised in the past against the Armenians, Elie Skaff, and against us, and the country was governed on the basis of vengeance.
Comment: For the Naharnet translators: you don’t “exercise” spite, ladies (or gentlemen). I know you say it in Arabic, but in Eglish it doesn’t make sense.

5:10pm MP Aoun: I reject any country or individual telling me that I will not be granted a specific portfolio.
Comment: I agree. No country. Just the PM you’ve just brought to power.

5:11pm MP Aoun: Once they determine the number of ministers, they should set the size of representation of the parliamentary blocs, later they should distribute the portfolios, and determine the ministers at the end. No one should speak to the press before any of the names are set.
Comment: And what’s next? Not allowing internet connection in the Parliament? No tweeting for the ministers? No Facebook, maybe? The media is overrated anyway. (see Egypt, Bahrein, Yemen, Libya, Tunisia etc.) And what if the Lebanese want to know?

5:12pm MP Aoun: Why should the president be granted portfolios? Should we withdraw from rule so that he is granted portfolios? Who came up with this rule and when?
Comment: I believe it was Doha, sir. After Beirut had been burning. I remind you that without the president’s share in the former government you wouldn’t have had enough people to bring it down. ‘ya scared of the same thing?

5:16pm MP Aoun: Whoever says that the interior ministry portfolio is not mine should explain the reasons why. If we have a right to it, then we will take it.
Comment: The ministry is not “yours”. You’ve got possession issues, clearly. The argument is simple: you don’t have people capable to be in charge of it.

MP Aoun: Who said that I am demanding the interior ministry portfolio?
Comment: You did, just now. “If we have a right to it, then we will take it.”

Is there a university in Lebanon that teaches political marketing? The students should send their CVs to GMA.


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For all the stories left unwritten.
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